Reality Check

She’s gotta have it! No, not the movie. Me! I love watching reality shows. The remote, me and previous recorded shows are tight like that! I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough! ( I sound like a song; I digress). I am not competitive, in no way, shape or form ( or at least I tell myself that; wink). So, I live vicariously through reality tv.

First up, Big Brother. From day one, Beast-mode Cowboy as he calls himself was in lust I mean love with pretty-girl “…I-wish-I-was fat-so-he-wouldn’t-like-me…”-NOT!-esthetician model (or whoever you say you are) girl “friend.” Oh, you’re so vein. You probably think this blog is about you?!

When cold, Beast-mode Cowboy wore (his ) scarf on his head and (her) bunny slippers on his feet. Hmmm. How did he get the slippers? (Hint: from his “friend”). Then, she used bait ( herself) to get him to eat something he hated, a pickle, in order to have a date with her. Double hmmm. Did he take the bait? Oh, yes he did! Before I know it, the battle of the block is on! He’s teamed up with Regina Belle singing Baby come to me! and she locked lyrics with Cherrelle…I told you twice, I was only trying to be nice….I want a friend….I didn’t mean to turn you on. Hold up! Say what now?!

Next up, Married At First Sight. Oooooh my gooooooodness-gracious! The name is exactly what’s happening in the day and life of three couples. The bride walks down the isle to the groom, hi, hi. Nice to meet you, nice to meet you. Then, bingo-bango they’re husband and wife. Off to the honeymoon, moving in together and intertwining their lives. On the marriage day, one bride pouted like a two year old cried because it was NOT love at first sight. Really. She cried. A week or two later, the two go shopping for new furniture including a new bed. Great! A new beginning requires new things. But, wait. They haven’t consummated the marriage yet?!! Again, say what now?!

Oh, Lord! Help me Jesus! Where’s a preacher when you need one? I know where! Preachers Of L.A. Oh, yeah. That’s right. We were talking about friends. W-e-l-l ! Let the church folks say “Amen!” On that note, I’m gonna go read my Bible….

All are singing (Bruno Mars) I’d catch a grenade for you, . After all (like Justin Timberlake), it’s Not a bad thing to fall in love with me.

Good-googly-moogly people! I feel like Cher. SNAP OF IT! You are being Silly (like Deniece Williams) because they’ve hooked up with Miss Jackson if your nasty (knowing bleep well they are really) singing Let’s wait awhile; I promise I’ll be worth the wait.

Help me out people. Is it time for a reality check or what?